We say it all the time to our kids, to our parents and to each other. "good night, I love you", "see you later, I love you." Sometimes we say it to our friends. I remember a funny story Brian told me. As he was on the phone talking to his friend's wife, their conversation came to an end and she told him "ok I love you" (forgetting he was not her husband), awkward! My point is that it is three small words that, once worked into your life, become habit words.

Since autistic children tend to have speech delays, we mothers await anxiously for their first words. For some children it comes early, some much later in life and some mothers may never hear their children utter any words. For us, Scott was 5 years old when he began to talk. Once speech has developed, the second thing we anxiously await to hear are those three little words, "I love you."

Scott can say it. I remember how thrilled I was when he told me "I love you." It was not long before I realized that he did not understand what he was saying. To him, those words had no meaning. They had become habit words. It became his standard response when we told him "I love you." But that was ok! I had waited so long to hear him say those words I would have settled for anything that sounded close to those words. That was a year ago.

Today that all changed.

He was home sick today with what a lot of autistic children have frequently, another ear infection. The poor guy was in so much pain. But no matter how much he stuck his finger in his ear and no matter how much he cried, he refused to take his medication (another thing that he does not understand the meaning of). He does not understand that if he takes these purple pills, his 104 fever will feel better, or that if he takes these white pills his "OWIE" in his ear will go away.

After trying, unsuccessfully, to convince him to take those purple and white pills, I gave up and put a Barney DVD on for what I was hoping to be 5 minutes of peace. After about 30 minutes Scott came to me, pushed my arms down and said with such conviction "I love you mommy." And then sealed the deal with a kiss!

It was in that moment that I knew. He understands what those words mean. He understands it in his heart. No more are those "habit" words for him. From now on I know when I tell him "I love you" and he responds the same, I now know he means it!