Unfortunately, you are falling into the same hole that so many have fallen into, with the necessity of having two parents in the workforce. For a time, I too, allowed myself to fall into the "Mommy guilt trip" and have let this be a reason to spoil my children. The truth is, we all find ourselves at one point or another feeling guilt and wanting to make up for it by giving in to every whimper and whine. Kids are wired just like the rest of us - they will use this weakness to get what they want, and get away with anything. The trick is to realise when this is happening, and then change gears - go from feeling guilty, and thus, teaching your child to feel as though they are missing out - to giving yourself credit for what you are able to do right, and teaching your child to be grateful for what they have. You obviously love your family, and are doing many of the right things- spending as much time as you can, making your daughter feel special, etc. I suggest starting a family "game" at the dinner table each and every night. Have each person at the table declare a blessing that they are grateful for. See who can think of the most blessings, and applaud the winner. This will encourage your daughter to aknowledge how good she has it. Next time she begins to whine that she doesn't get enough time, treats, toys, whatever, remind her of what she herself has singled out as being a blessing. Help her to realise for herself that her complaints are unfounded. This has worked wonders with my children. (And it has helped my own "Mommy esteem", as well.) Another thing I would suggest is that next time you are at WalMart, be aware of other children, and their behavior. If you see a child pitching a tantrum, or whining, (quietly- that child's parent is already embarradded - don't make it worse for them!) point out to your daughter how that child's behavior is unacceptable, and how it is uncomfortable to be around someone behaving in that way. At the same time, ponit it out when you notice another child behaving in a positive way. If you hear another child saying please and thank you, for instance, tell your daughter how nice it is to hear that - even better, go to the parent of that child and compliment their child in a way that your child sees. Then make a deal with your child: start counting the compliments your child recieves - make a goal of a certain number (I used my child's age) Tell your daughter that you like to hear other adults compliment you on her behavior, and make it a challenge. Keep a little notebook in your purse, and when someone compliments her to you, keep a record of it. when she recieves 5 compliments, allow her to choose a small treat as a reward. Remind her of the challenge whenever you go into public, and I can almost guarrantee that your little angel will be on her best behavior. The most important thing, though, is that you be consistant. If she earns the treat, give it to her. If her behavior does not warrant a reward, DONT reward bad behavior by giving into whining or tantrums. The most loving thing you can do for your child (and yourself) is to teach them to become the kind of person others like to be around. If a child is allowed to be "high maintenance" while growing up, they will grow up to be a high maintanance adult - do your childs future spouse a favor!

Well, I gave up Mom Guilt this year as my New's Year Resolution and I highly recommend it to everyone.

As the mother of a high maintenance child (also a girl), all I can say is that we do our best as parents to love, nuture and care for the little people that take over our homes and sometimes they may feel like it's not enough. But in the end, it is usually plenty. All you can do is enjoy the time you do have with your daughter, remember that your doing your best and remind yourself to let go of the guilt. Just like we tell our children, try your best and that should be good enough for her and for you.....Now, if that doesn't work, open a bottle of wine and have a glass til the drama passes!