Before I had kids, I didn’t even know there was a 4 in the morning. Oh, I KNEW there was a 4 in the afternoon, and I’d HEARD of a 6 in the morning, but getting up that early was for the birds. And the dumb birds at that. After having kids, I realized I’d either have to get up earlier in the day to get things done or I’d have to lobby Washington to add a few extra hours to the day. Both seemed like a lot of work, but the whole Washington thing sounded like major travel time was involved, and I already spend several hours in my trusty soccer-mom van acting as a personal driver. So 4 AM it was, just so I can get a good workout in each day.
So the alarm is set for 4 AM, so I can get a few household tasks done, fix breakfast and pack lunches for the day and head down to The Body Shop, the gym I belong to. Thank goodness for The Body Shop. I hate sweating, hate working out my muscles, hate getting out of breath. But at least there I get to do all those things without focusing on them. I can take a class full of other moms who hated getting up as early as me (misery loves company) or strength train while listening to commercial-free music, or hop on a treadmill with its own personal TV set on it.
The treadmill with the TV on it is my favorite. It’s about the only time I watch non-Discovery Channel TV. I can watch all the junk TV I want for 45 minutes and no one is the wiser! I could watch infomercials (I really want one of those Conair Steam Straighteners and I have a birthday coming up in August-hint, hint) or Snapped! (you know to get hints in case the hubby ever really steps out of line) or if I REALLY want to lose a few brain cells I could switch the channel to MTV and watch re-runs of America’s Next Top Model. Either way, next thing I know I’ve spent 45 minutes running uphill and didn’t even realize it. There’s nothing like being oblivious to pain.
My kids are 12 and 15, so they don’t get to enjoy the free childcare at The Body Shop. But if it weren’t so creepy, I could tune in to channel 114 and watch the little ones in the day care while I work out on the treadmill. This is great for moms with little kids, but my kids just sit at the front desk sipping protein shakes and playing with their Gameboys. Laurie, the general manager, is okay with that as long as they don’t fight. She suggested that if they are going to fight, they may as well take the kickboxing class. Since the kickbxsing class requires real effort, that comment ended their personal warfare. Wow, Laurie should be a high school teacher!
Let’s face it, as we get older we have to work out a little bit harder. I’m not trying to become a size 2, I’m fighting to STAY a size 10. Not because I want to keep my husband from running off with a 19 year old (that’s why I watch Snapped!). Not because I want to wear those cute miniskirts (my fifteen year-old would pass out and die!) but because I want to be around as long as I possibly can and actually enjoy life...
When my alarm went off at 4 AM this morning I once again looked at it with one eye as if to say, really? It’s 4? In the AM? But I got up. After all, those infomercials aren’t gonna watch themselves!
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