It's amazing to me, as I look at all the safety paraphernalia that my two girls have accumulated, how much we "protect" our children from everything. Somehow I survived childhood without the use of helmets, car seats or even seat belts. Riding in the back of daddy's pickup truck was a given, even on the highway. We use anti-bacterial soap, even though recent studies suggest it has a negative impact on "good" bacteria and almost no impact on "bad" bacteria. The Department of Social Services would take away my Daddy License if I allowed my kids to drink from a garden hose.

All that is to preface the fact that within the span of a few days, both my daughters sustained life-altering wounds while playing. Elizabeth, 9 years old, was riding her bike at a campsite on High Rock Lake. She is not the steadiest thing on two wheels, but seemed to be OK as I rode just ahead of her. As we started down a little hill that she had already travelled many times before, she all of a sudden lost control, of her mind, and splayed out on the asphalt, bruised and bewildered. It was nothing too serious, so I got her back on the bike and we rode back to our campsite to lick our wounds. The very next day, at 8 AM on Sunday morning, I was preparing breakfast, when a sleepy-eyed fellow came walking up to our campsite with Elizabeth in one arm and a crashed up bike in another. Her little basket was smashed and she had cuts and bruises on her nose and cheek, just below the left eye. As the report came in, I discovered that she had been on the same hill, and this time was fortunate enough to find a parked golf cart to run into, in lieu of that nasty pavement. We forgot to bring her helmet that weekend. After a little ice and some parental lovin', she was alright and even got back on the bike again, although never venturing near Killer Hill. Her new nickname is Elizabeth "Crash"kins, which she really likes.

The very next week, we decided to take a family walk down the street. We stopped at the corner, where a friend of mine owns a vacant rental house. In the front yard sat a pear tree pregnant with beautiful, bigger than my fist, pears. The girls immediately scurried up the tree and were happily playing as we talked to a friend who happened to be driving by. All of a sudden I heard a "I'm really hurt. Come now!!" kind of scream. It was Katherine, my 7 year old. She had fallen out of the tree and was holding her left arm, sobbing and screaming bloody murder. We got her back to the house and made a splint out of her soccer shin guards and an Ace bandage. After calling our friend who is an x-ray tech, we determined that waiting until the morning was the best option. The emergency room would just add to the misery, and they wouldn't be able to do anything until the swelling went down. It was probably broken, but not badly, so after stabilizing it, we medicated and got her in bed. After a very long and sleepless night, we got to the doctor's office, where they confirmed she had a small buckle fracture to the radius and would need a cast. Evidently some doctors don't even prescribe a cast for these types of fractures in children. Katherine's new nickname is "Cast"erine.

I guess we really can't protect our kids after all. After being scolded for "loose living and hard drinking", W.C. Fields, the early 1900s film star and comedian, reputedly remarked, "There'll be a lot of healthy people who get really mad when they die of nothing." While I am no hurry to see my daughters die, or even get hurt for that matter, I do tend to allow them to explore their limits. We have taught them some very basic things. They know about strangers. They know about playing in traffic. If the stick wiggles, it's not a stick. And if they forget to use anti-bacterial soap every now and then, we just let it ride. I think they'll be alright, and if they aren't, well there's always therapy.

When Dan isn't nursing some wound his daughters have sustained, he sells real estate with Fore Properties. You can reach him at 910-528-7003 or email: Dan@DanAskins.com.

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When Laura called me yesterday morning, it wasn't just to talk about our latest project but to let me know that they were officially evacuating her Gulfport. Unlike many of the families that were leaving, Laura's family wasn't there through Katrina. In fact, they arrived well after the area had started to revitalize. Although there was still remnants of the storm around them (like the tub in the front yard across the street) for the most part life had returned to normal.....that is until Friday.

As the storm approached, we've chatted about it and joked about her evacuating with the kids, photos, husband and of course her computer and heading north to my house. But until yesterday morning, it was just that - talk. So when she called me Saturday morning, I knew they had made the decision to leave. While we tried to wrap up as much of the project we were working as possible, Laura and her husband packed up photos, documents, birth certificates, clothes to last several months, food, water, toys, special mementos and valuables that would leave with them and all of it would have to fit in two cars. And although we chuckled about her friend's recommendation to put an axe in the attic with food (just in case) we knew that this was no joking matter.

Today they left early with a caravan off other families, mostly military since they are in the Navy. Many of these families have deployed husbands or service members that were required to stay behind to help with the aftermath of the storm.  Although each is hopeful that this will only be a few days of hanging out at a hotel and riding out the storm they will spend that entire time wondering what will be left when they returned.

As we were talking, I could hear her husband in the background shuffling about as he packed everything in plastic and moved it to higher ground. (During Katrina, their house had 7 feet of standing water.) I had to wonder what I would do in their situation. Would I be able to leave my house and memories behind knowing that none of it may not be their when I returned? And what if I wasn't allowed to go back, then what?

In many ways, Laura's situation is déjà vu for me. Three years ago, my good friend Dawn found herself in the mist of Hurricane Katrina. Her husband was in the Coast Guard and they were stationed right along the coastline. He stayed behind while she was forced to evacuate. This was not the first time they had been through this drill, but it was the only time that she taken all of her photos, scrapbooks and important documents. Within twenty four hours, that was all she had left. Although she and her husband were reunited several weeks after the storm, they lost everything the owned except for the things she had taken with her and the clothes on their backs.

I am hopeful this time that we have learned greatly from Katrina and have not taken Mother Nature's wrath for granted. Because of stories from Katrina, people are able to better prepare themselves and evacuate early. As Gustav approaches the coast, keep these families in your thoughts as they face another potentially devastating storm and pray for their safe return. 

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Just because you are still enamored with your extensive Barbie collection, don't assume that everyone else is as well. As a full-time Realtor for the past 10 years, I have seen some great houses that wouldn't sell, simply because the owners couldn't get their own personalities out of the way. Below is a list of things you can do to help sell your house, and most of them cost little or no money.

I wasn't kidding about the Barbie collection. My buyer clients and I walked into a house that was decent enough and met their basic criteria. Then we walked into the master bedroom. It was a shrine to Barbie. Literally dozens of Barbie's, still in their boxes, took their place of prominence on every horizontal surface in the room. In a bachelor's house. It's sort of that feeling you get when you walk in on your parents. Even though the house met my clents' basic criteria, they took it off the list, because they couldn't see past the Barbie display. You might think my buyers were immature, but you must understand that they are in control of whether they buy your house, not you. Sometimes buyers make big decisions using little details to guide them. While you might love your Barbie collection, others probably don't, so get out your "It's Moving Day" Barbie and store those collectibles away. Leave room in your house for the buyer to mentally move in their own things. Quite often I see military families make this mistake as well. While I am quite proud and supportive of our troops, I don't recommend displaying pictures or plaques that remind people of some disturbing scenes. Home is a sanctuary. Keep it quiet for the buyers by removing anything that might disturb their peace.

Recently, I came into a house as a potential listing agent to interview for the listing. Long ago, I made the commitment to speak my mind, politely but firmly, about what issues I find. I have no desire to list a house I can't sell. This particular home was beautifully redone, from top to bottom, and sat in a very good section of town. It had been on the market, however, for two years. Obviously something was wrong. Besides being overpriced, the house was absolutely packed with furniture. The couple had married and combined furniture, so literally there were two houses of furniture in one space. Even though they were all very nice pieces, it made the house look llike a furniture showroom, instead of a home. Buyers need to be able to place their own furniture into a room, without tripping over yours. It is far cheaper to rent a mini-storage and pack away a few of your things, than to let your house sit on the market for two years. After the sellers moved out some of their stuff, the house went under contract in 28 days, and we got a backup offer as well.

My house is full of carpet stains. We manage to hide most of them, and if you don't like the rest of them, don't come over or clean 'em yourself. That's a fine attitude for us, because we aren't planning to sell. If you have pets, if you smoke, if you have kids (or husbands) who like to run with peanut butter and jelly, this will be a hard area for you to fix. It is SO important though. Getting those spots cleaned up will keep your potential buyers from forming a negative opinion of your home. It shows a pride of ownership, which puts the buyer's mind at ease about the rest of the house and the parts she can't see.

There is nothing worse than coming into a bedroom and seeing dirty underwear. Clean underwear isn't much better. If you are really serious about selling your house, pick up everything, everyday. Clean and put away the dishes. Put toys in the right place. Your dog's favorite bone needs to be tucked away. The litter box should be clean. The toilets should be spotless. Selling your house is a pain. You are under the microscope 24/7, and you never know when a Realtor will drive up unannounced with a car full of buyers and want to see your house with little or no notice. Although we try not to let that happen, sometimes circumstances don't work out that way. If a buyer can't get in right then, quite often they will take the home off the list. I know that's not fair, but buyers are not always fair. Buying a home can be just as stressful and overwhelming as selling one.

Just the other day, I walked into a house with some buyers, and I nearly threw up. Somebody got the "I'm an HGTV star" complex and starting painting and changing the carpet. I kid you not, when I say the room was a combination of mauve carpet and pink walls. It looked like a collision of Pepto and Grape Nehi, and we got the indigestion. While you live in the house, paint the whole thing purple, if you want to. But when you decide to sell it, you need to begin to move yourself out of the house. That includes your tacky paint colors. Spec builders use beige for a reason. It sells. That also brings to mind a real pet peeve I have with homeowners. Just because Lowe's says you can "Do-It-Yourself" doesn't make it so. If you don't know how to keep wall paint off the ceililng, if you don't know how to properly caulk nail holes, if you don't know how to cut a straight line, this is for you: "STEP AWAY FROM THE PAINT BRUSH!!!!" Your bad paint job will cost you thousands of dollars, much more than the cost of a professional painter. When people see what a bad job you have done, they will price in a new paint job, even if they like the colors you picked.

Sometimes we have 20-30 houses to look at over the course of only one or two days. Imagine trying to remember all those houses. The last thing you want the buyer to associate with your wonderful home is how smelly it was. Your cigarettes must be completely undetectable, and you won't be able to discern that. Only a non-smoker who is not acquainted with your house will be able to tell. The litter box must be clean. Cat pee is a sure-fire way to ruin a first impression. Scented candles in every room is almost worse than the cats. The scent is overpowering and makes people think you're trying to hide something. One house had so many candles burning, we had to leave the front door open for ventilation. That house got crossed off the list. It's a little unfair, but the buyer is the one who makes that decision. Don't give her a reason to walk away with her nose in the air, firmly pinched between two fingers.

Here's where I get in trouble. I know you love your pet. I know he's precious. I know he's just being affectionate. I also know that the buyers don't want to be bothered with Fido and Sparkles. Barking dogs will turn away a buyer, even if that buyer has pets of his own. If there's any way to get your pets out of the picture, it would be a bonus. If not in a kennel, then in the garage or outside. If you have a large or somewhat aggressive dog, this is especially important. Do you want the buyers to remember your house as the one with the mean guard dog or as the one with the beautiful hardwood floors?

Maybe you've noticed by now that I haven't mentioned price. It's the elephant in the room. We all know price is important, but it's not the only factor. In fact, it's one of the few things on the list over which you have little control. The market dictates price, not your mortgage amount or your bills that are piling up or your upcoming world cruise. This is a harsh reality, but you must respect the market. Quite often people will stubbornly stick to an unreasonable price for their houses and miss real opportuniites to sell. For every month you overprice the market, you are making yet another interest payment. Add those up and pretty soon, you've spent a great deal more money than you would have spent, if you had lowered the price to a reasonable level in the first place. Get an objective opinion of value. Your 1970s Brady Bunch era ranch with orange shag carpet and harvest gold appliances might really trip your trigger, but don't expect anyone to pay top dollar for it. Just because you don't mind a tiny bathroom with a pink tub, don't expect everyone to feel the same way. And just because you took out a huge line of credit to pay for that new bass boat with cruise control and XM radio, don't expect anyone to be willing to pay for it through an inflated house price.

Selling a house is like a going on a blind date. You never know if this buyer is "the one", so make your house ready every time. An attractive, well-priced house will sell, regardles of the market conditions.

When Dan isn't out selling real estate with Fore Properties, he likes to hang out at Panera. You can find him there or via email: Dan@DanAskins.com.

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This is my second installment about "People to Meet in Moore County." If you know somebody that the rest of us need to meet, let me know. I'd be glad to interview them.

Felton Capel

This morning, I had the privilege to introduce Felton Capel to a class of 8th graders at Southern Middle School that I have been teaching through Junior Achievement. For the past eight weeks, I have asked the students what they wanted to do when they grew up, and then I followed up with a more difficult question: "What are you going to do this week to achieve that goal?" Most of the students have dreams, but they really don't understand how to turn them into reality. They also allow small barriers to get in their way. That's where Felton comes in.

Felton Capel is a black man in his 60's. We can say that race doesn't matter, but for people of Felton's generation it did. After leaving the US Army as a Master Sergeant during World War II, Felton came back to the States to try to get an education and get ahead. His choices were limited to black colleges, but he did receive a degree in Chemistry from Hampton University. When he came back home, the best job he could get was as a waiter for the Pinehurst Hotel. Felton Capel is a black man.

One day in 1968, after a family funeral, a friend approached Felton about the possibility of selling cookware with a company out of Los Angeles. Reluctantly, he agreed to try it out, and within six months, he was in the top 5 in the nation in sales. To this point, nobody in the company leadership had met Felton and didn't realize he was black, or the opportunity to sell the cookware wouldn't have been there to begin with. Within two years, he was the top selling distributor in the world, and the company wanted to throw him a victory banquet. Felton had a challenge. Felton is black. Hotels don't serve blacks. All that changed for one hotel in Winston-Salem, when Felton told them he wanted to book rooms for 700-900 people and host a dinner. He went on to by the cookware company and sit on many corporate and community service organization boards. Felton Capel is a black man, but he doesn't seem to notice.

Not satisfied with success in the business world alone, Felton ran for and won a seat on the Southern Pines Town Council. Due in large part to his efforts, Moore County integrated without all the ugliness that other areas endured. Felton Capel is a black man, but we don't care.

Perhaps you can understand why I invited Felton to speak to these 8th graders. Their excuses pale in comparison to the real barriers Felton Capel, and many others like him, faced on a daily basis. He is famous for saying, "Your attitude, more than your aptitude, determines your altitude." Everytime I think about quitting, or turning away from a challenge, or making excuses for my own laziness, I think about Felton Capel. Felton Capel is a great man.

When Dan isn't sitting at the feet of great men like Mr. Capel, he sells real estate with Fore Properties. You can reach Dan at 910-528-7003 or by email at Dan@DanAskins.com.

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It seems that every "mom" website you go to or news about families is always focused on how we as women can be better mothers to our children and more efficient. I recently saw an article on MSN.com title "50 tips to for moms" dedicated to keeping us moms more organized and better at managing our families. Somehow, we as moms have bought into this idea that we aren't good enough as we are and we somehow need to improve ourselves in order to be quality parents.

For many years, I bought into the hype surrounding motherhood. I read books on how to be a "good" mom, join the "best" mom groups and watch parenting experts on TV all in an effort to be the "perfect" mom. Instead of being supermom, I was the just "good enough" mom who was slightly overweight, frazzled and usually sleep deprived. What I soon realized was that I was a "normal" mom and the "perfect" mom for my family with all of my quirks and flaws.

As a result of this new found realization, I gave up reading parenting books and comparing myself to other moms. I stopped trying to find ways to be the "best" and accepted "good enough". What I have learned is that even those "perfect" moms have their flaws they just may not be as obvious as some of mine.

But most of all, I gave up "MOM GUILT". I made a conscious decision to no longer feel bad about myself as a parent or for taking time to sometimes step away from being just mom and enjoy being "Rollie" for awhile. And this year, I took it a step further and decided to live a Year Without Guilt.

So what does that mean? Well, simply put, I will not allow Guilt to be my guide in 2008. This year, I will not feel bad about.......

• Locking the door when I go the bathroom for privacy.
• Putting a cartoon on the TV for the kids so I can fix dinner in peace and quiet.
• Going out with a few friends for an evening without little people.
• Taking time to take care of myself both physically and mentally.
• Driving through McDonald's for Happy Meals instead of cooking.
• Hiring a babysitter so I can go to the store without tantrums.
• Dropping my daughter off in the carpool lane instead of walking her to class.
• Spending time with my husband with a child in sight.

But most of all I won't feel guilty for the little mistakes I make along my journey in parenthood. Because believe it or not, I am more than a mom - I am also human.

So this year, throw the expert advice out the window, enjoy your life as a parent, accept who you are and live a Year Without Guilt!

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Below is a list of some of my favorite eating spots for lunch in Moore County. They are in no particular order.

Please feel free to add to the list.

My Favorite Lunch Spots

Squire's Pub. I hate fast food. I refuse to eat it, unless there is absolutely no other alternative. When I'm in a hurry, I call ahead to Squire's Pub and ask for the loaded baked potato with steak and mushrooms. With tip, it's about $8, and I get a great meal faster than a trip around the Mickey D's drive through.

Panera Bread. They made it on my breakfast list, too. I like to get the half sandwich and cup of soup, especially the potato or french onion. The service is excellent, the food is good and fast. They also have a great grilled cheese sandwich for kids.

Corfu's. You've got to try their pan-seared grouper with lemon caper cream sauce. My mouth waters just typing the description. If the weather is nice, I like to sit outside and imagine I'm in some little Mediterranean seaside village. The funeral home across the street brings me back to reality, but the food is still awesome. I usually order water and come out for less than $10 with tip.

Caterino's. I am a Southerner. A good ol' boy redneck from South Carolina. I honestly did not know that people drank unsweet tea until I was in college. The very idea...Imagine the culture shock I received when I met real live Yankee restaurant owners here in Moore County. Nick Caterino is one of those guys. He is a little brazen, but underneath that tough exterior is one mighty fine baker and sandwich maker. His bread is baked fresh daily and the portions would choke a horse. Even I can't finish the meal. Sometimes. I just let them build me a sandwich. They're all good. The Philly is amazing. The Meatball sub comes in bread that has this impossibly thin layer of crunchy goodness that gives way to a chewy center. (He also makes some pretty good homemade wine.)

Eastwood Diner. Remember that part about being Southern? This is where I go to get back to my roots. Eastwood Diner is one of the few places in Moore County that I order tea. And I don't have to tell them sweet, either. Their buffet will make your tongue slap your forehead, trying to lick your lips. Fried chicken, collards, sweet potatoes, banana pudding (pronounced nanner puddin'). This is absolute paradise for only $8.

When Dan isn't stuffing his face, he sells real estate in the Moore County area with Fore Properties.

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It's official. My husband will be heading home in a few weeks. And although I don't actually have a date and probably won't find out when he's coming until the plane takes off (I once had 4 hours notice - not cool!), I have confirmed through a reliable source that the wheels are in motion for his safe passage home.

So, what does that mean for me? Well, if you're not a military spouse you probably think I'm on cloud nine swooning about the house dreaming of seeing the love of my life. While that is a wonderful thought, it's definitely not reality. Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled that he is finally coming home but I am also stressed out about the upcoming reunion.

His impending return means that my "To Do" list just got enormously long. You see, military spouses work incredibly hard to create the illusion of having everything under control while their husbands are away. I'm not saying we don't have it all together but we do run things a little bit differently when our men are across the ocean.

If fact, I think I run a pretty tight ship when he's gone. The bills get paid, the kids are fed and the house is still standing when he returns. In my book that is success. Granted we eat a lot more Mac-n-cheese when he's gone and the kids spend more time sleeping in my bed then their own, but who says that's a bad thing? Plus, I have complete and utter control of the most prized possession in the house - the remote control. Although, this may sound like the good life it is certainly better with him home. So, in the next two weeks I will graciously prepare to hand over the remote and welcome him home.

First and foremost on the list is shaving my legs. While I might appreciate the break from razors, it certainly won't be appreciated by him. Then I need to clean up the many little "gifts" the dog left in the backyard and fill in the holes from digging paws. Oh, and let's not forget the garage. God help me if he comes home and finds "his" garage in disarray. Especially since he "organized" it before he left. And did I mention the car? I still need to get the oil changed and the carpets cleaned before he sees what Libby did in the back seat!
 
Plus, he has no idea that I bought a new headboard for the bed and a matching quilt (It's from Pottery Barn!). Somehow I forgot to mention that. It's probably better if I explain that purchase when he gets home. So I definitely need to make sure the sheets are clean....and of course the check book needs to be balanced, the house dust busted, the towels washed, the frig stocked with his favorite food and a good twelve pack of beer. Oh, I better check his laundry basket to see if he left any dirty clothes when he left. That would be bad if they were still there when he returned. And the list goes on....

At this point you're wondering why anyone would create this much anxiety about having everything "perfect" and if my husband is some kind of control freak. Shouldn't he just be happy to see me? Well, as far as my husband is concerned he has only two requirements when he gets home - to see us and a goodnight's sleep. A cold beer is considered an added bonus. As far as the rest of it, that's all me. It's my gift to my husband. I want to make sure when he walk's through the door after spending 48 hours traveling home from some God forsaken location that everything is in order. Not to prove that I can do it alone but to assure him that he doesn't have to worry about us when he's gone. It's sort of my insurance policy for his safe return. My theory is simple, if he doesn't have to stress about his family falling apart while he is gone then he can focus all of his attention on his job and come home in one piece.

And so far, it's worked. Which means if you see me in the next few weeks talking to myself, neurotically checking my "To Do" list or just looking a little more frazzled than usually, remember it's all part of my re-deployment ritual. Feel free to offer me an adult beverage, I'll probably need one!

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I eat a lot. It's something I'm really good at. The best part about it is the fact that I have a very high metabolism, so it doesn't show. Below is a list of some of my favorite eating spots in Moore County. They are in no particular order.

Please feel free to add to the list.

Breakfast

• Panera Bread. When I tell people I'm at the office, they know I mean Panera. I don't buy coffee there; I rent space. Free wireless, nice staff and lots of potential clients walking around. Oh yeah, they also have great lattes and those cinammon crunch bagels with honey-walnut cream cheese.
• May St Market. Morris Pennington, the owner, will sit down and chat when he has a free second. I take my girls there on some Tuesdays before school as a reward for getting up and getting ready in time. I can eat a great breakfast, go over homework and still make it to school on time.
• Mac's Broad St. My other hangout with the girls. I can't go in without seeing 10 people I know. I feel like a breakfast potentate.
• Sizzlin' Steak or Egg. This is what Mac's used to be. The classic diner. Their link sausage is the bomb, and their grits is the real Southern stuff. No, you don't put syrup on it...

Lunch and Dinner in subsequent blogs.

When Dan Askins is not stuffing his face, he sells real estate in the Moore County area.

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The Sandhills Rotary Club has teamed up with the Town of Southern Pines to Stop Hunger Now. On Saturday, March 8, at the Douglass Community Center, we plan to package over 20,000 meals for hungry people all over the world.

The Town of Southern Pines is a co-sponsor and will be promoting the event in their literature. For details, please contact Dan Askins.

910-528-7003

Dan@DanAskins.com

 When Dan Askins is not out saving the world, he is a Realtor with Fore Properties.

The other night, about 1:30 AM, I heard a loud crash and breaking glass. I jumped up, ran into the hallway and yelled out in my deepest, baddest voice, "WHO'S THERE!!". I was also carrying my weapon with me. I looked down, and I was holding onto my pillow in a very menacing way. I hate it for the fool who dares endure the wrath of the pillow. Turns out my Christmas tree had fallen over, and a few of the ornaments broke in the process, but I now know what I would do in a fight. :)

Merry Christmas.

Dan.

When he's not out fighting crime with his pillow, Dan Askins is a Realtor with Fore Properties.