It seems from the moment I got pregnant with our first child almost 8 years ago, I have officially given up a good night's sleep. From the constant shifting all night and 3 am heartburn that came with pregnancy to the 2 am feedings and diaper changes that came after birth, I dreamed of the day when I would finally be able to sleep again.

But for some reason, sleep has never returned. Since birth, our oldest daughter has woken up several times a week and is just now making it through the night (she's 7!). Then, like most parents, we decide to have baby number two (back in 2003) and although she has turned out to be a much better sleeper, we still have the occasional 4 am wake-up call because of a bad dream.

I thought that as my kids got older, things would be easier to manage and that I would finally get the well deserved rest I needed. But once again, I was wrong. It seems that as they get bigger so do all the things I have to do, from homework to laundry to extra-curricular activities. Now, I find that from the time my feet hit the floor at 6:30 am (Okay 6:45 because I hit the snooze), I'm running around like a mad woman until I crawl back in bed each night close to mid-night. So much for getting my recommended 8 hours of sleep! And unlike the good ole days of sleeping in on Saturdays, I'm waking up early to drag the four year old at of bed to make her 9 am Soccer Games!

And of course some of this I have brought on myself when I decided to venture into self-employment and co-manage SandhillsKids.com. Like most moms, the only time of day that isn't consumed with house, kids, sports, dogs, husband and chores, are the hours between 8:30 pm and midnight. Just like many of the users on SandhillsKid.com, that's when I jump on the superhighway and work. Anyone that has ever emailed the site has probably received a reply with a time stamp after 10 pm. 

What does this all mean? Should I quite working, stop letting the kids do sports or start taking naps in the morning instead of doing laundry (which I would love because I hate laundry). Nope, it just means that right now life is busy and sometimes, I need to stop, grab a good book and climb into bed by 8 pm! That's all.

And, hopefully, when both kids are in school all day starting in July, I will finally have time to work during the day and get back to sleep. But until then, Sleep is Overrated and Caffeine is the stimulus of choice! 

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It seems that every "mom" website you go to or news about families is always focused on how we as women can be better mothers to our children and more efficient. I recently saw an article on MSN.com title "50 tips to for moms" dedicated to keeping us moms more organized and better at managing our families. Somehow, we as moms have bought into this idea that we aren't good enough as we are and we somehow need to improve ourselves in order to be quality parents.

For many years, I bought into the hype surrounding motherhood. I read books on how to be a "good" mom, join the "best" mom groups and watch parenting experts on TV all in an effort to be the "perfect" mom. Instead of being supermom, I was the just "good enough" mom who was slightly overweight, frazzled and usually sleep deprived. What I soon realized was that I was a "normal" mom and the "perfect" mom for my family with all of my quirks and flaws.

As a result of this new found realization, I gave up reading parenting books and comparing myself to other moms. I stopped trying to find ways to be the "best" and accepted "good enough". What I have learned is that even those "perfect" moms have their flaws they just may not be as obvious as some of mine.

But most of all, I gave up "MOM GUILT". I made a conscious decision to no longer feel bad about myself as a parent or for taking time to sometimes step away from being just mom and enjoy being "Rollie" for awhile. And this year, I took it a step further and decided to live a Year Without Guilt.

So what does that mean? Well, simply put, I will not allow Guilt to be my guide in 2008. This year, I will not feel bad about.......

• Locking the door when I go the bathroom for privacy.
• Putting a cartoon on the TV for the kids so I can fix dinner in peace and quiet.
• Going out with a few friends for an evening without little people.
• Taking time to take care of myself both physically and mentally.
• Driving through McDonald's for Happy Meals instead of cooking.
• Hiring a babysitter so I can go to the store without tantrums.
• Dropping my daughter off in the carpool lane instead of walking her to class.
• Spending time with my husband with a child in sight.

But most of all I won't feel guilty for the little mistakes I make along my journey in parenthood. Because believe it or not, I am more than a mom - I am also human.

So this year, throw the expert advice out the window, enjoy your life as a parent, accept who you are and live a Year Without Guilt!

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If you've read the Pilot in the past week, then you've certainly seen the photo of the young girl holding a hunting rifle on the front page. The little girl in the photo known as "The Little Hunter" is a Girl Scout in my Brownie Troop. She is a great child and I look forward to seeing her at our meetings.

What you may not realize is that her parents have taken a lot of heat about letting their daughter hunt. I don't know that they would have let the paper cover the story if they would have known that they would become the target of dozens of nasty phone calls and letters to the editor.

(Here's the article if you haven't read it - http://www.thepilot.com/stories/20080109/news/local/20080109HUNTER.html)

Personally, I think Emma's passion for hunting is wonderful. It is something she does with her father and thoroughly enjoys. She is not focused on the dark aspects of hunting (like killing, butchering, etc) but on the sport on it. She loves sitting in the woods quietly, watching the animals and observing nature. She also enjoys being a good marksman which I think is very empowering for a young girl.

My husband is a hunter. He grew up in the woods of Arkansas and got his first rifle at ten. For me, that's a foreign concept having grown up in a house with no guns. However, since I married a man from the country I also accepted that hunting would be a part of our life as well as our childrens. And although I have no interest in sitting in the dark, cold woods on a chilly November morning, I totally support his desire to do it and hope that at least one of our daughters shares his passion.

So, here's my letter to the editor just in case it doesn't make the cut!

Congrats to Emma! 

When I say the article about Emma, the little hunter, I couldn't help but smile. You see, Emma, is one on my Girl Scouts and an absolute joy to be around. She is smart, compassionate and always grinning. So, you can image my surprise when I saw all the negative letters to the editor.

First of all, her parents are loving, caring and very involved in every aspect of her life. Her father is also a Detective for the Aberdeen Police Department who has personally come and spoke to our Girl Scout Troop as well as supported our other projects. To suggest that her parents are irresponsible in any way when it comes to Emma's desire to hunt is truly unjustified.

As far as Emma and her comment about loving to kill animals, let's remember that the statement was made by a six year old. Emma doesn't love to hurt animals but she does love to hunt and there is a difference. Even at six, she understands what it means to hunt and the responsibilities that come with the sport. Emma's passion to hunt comes from her desire to spend time with her father, whom she adores.

When Emma announced to her Girl Scout Troop that she had shot her first deer, they were excited for her and even more thrilled when they saw her photo in the paper. Although not every child felt like hunting was something they wanted to do, they supported Emma's choice and were quick to congratulate her. In fact, my co-leader and I were so impressed that we presented her with a "Deer Hunting" patch that she proudly displays on the back of her brownie uniform. (FYI, the Boy Scouts give out hunting patches too.)

So kuddos to Emma for bagging her first buck!

Sincerely,
Rollie Sampson
GS Leader - Troop 1230

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As a parent, I know that I am extremely cautious about the medications that are given to my children. Each day, parents struggle with the decision to medicate their children for all sorts of conditions including mental illness. On Tuesday, January 8th at 9 pm (check your TV Guide listing to confirm) PBS will air a Frontline Special called the Medicated Child. The program should be worth watching. At the very least, it raises questions about medication management and children.

Here are the specifics about the program from their press release:

www.pbs.org/frontline/medicatedchild

In recent years, there's been a dramatic increase in the number of children being diagnosed with serious psychiatric disorders and prescribed medications that are just beginning to be tested in children. The drugs can cause serious side effects, and virtually nothing is known about their long-term impact. "It's really to some extent an experiment, trying medications in these children of this age," child psychiatrist Dr. Patrick Bacon tells FRONTLINE. "It's a gamble. And I tell parents there's no way to know what's going to work."

In The Medicated Child, airing Tuesday, January 8, 2008, at 9 P.M. ET on PBS (check local listings), FRONTLINE producer Marcela Gaviria confronts psychiatrists, researchers and government regulators about the risks and benefits of prescription drugs for troubled children. The biggest current controversy surrounds the diagnosis of bipolar disorder. Formerly called manic depression, bipolar disorder was long believed to exist only in adults, but, in the mid-1990s, bipolar in children began to be diagnosed at much higher rates, sometimes in kids as young as 4 years old. "The rates of bipolar diagnoses in children have increased markedly in many communities over the last five to seven years," says Dr. Steven Hyman, a former director of the National Institute of Mental Health. "I think the real question is, are those diagnoses right? And in truth, I don't think we yet know the answer."

Like many of the 1 million children now diagnosed with bipolar, 5-year-old Jacob Solomon was initially believed to suffer from an attention deficit disorder. His parents reluctantly started him on Ritalin, but over the next five years, Jacob would be put on one drug after another. "It all started to feel out of control," Jacob's father, Ron, told FRONTLINE. "Nobody ever said we can work with this through therapy and things like that. Everywhere we looked it was, ‘Take meds, take meds, take meds.'"

Over the years, Jacob's multiple medications have helped improve his mood, but they've also left him with a severe tic in his neck which doctors are having trouble fully explaining. "We're dealing with developing minds and brains, and medications have a whole different impact in the young developing child than they do in an adult," says Dr. Marianne Wamboldt, the chief of psychiatry at Denver Children's Hospital. "We don't understand that impact very well. That's where we're still in the Dark Ages."

DJ Koontz was diagnosed with bipolar at 4 years old, after his temper tantrums became more frequent and explosive. He was recently prescribed powerful antipsychotic drugs. "It is a little worrisome to me because he is so young," says DJ's mother, Christine. "If he didn't take it, though, I don't know if we could function as a family. It's almost a do-or-die situation over here." DJ's medicines seem to be helping him in the short run, but the longer-term outlook is still uncertain. "What's not really clear is whether many of the kids who are called bipolar have anything that's related to this very well-studied disorder in adults," says Thomas Insel, the director of the National Institute for Mental Health. "It's not clear that people with that adult illness started with what we're now calling bipolar in children. Nor is it clear that the kids who have this disorder are going to grow up to have what we used to call manic-depressive illness in adulthood."

While some urge caution when it comes to bipolar in children, FRONTLINE talks with others who argue that we should intervene with drug treatments at even younger ages for children genetically predisposed to the disorder. "The theory is that if you get in early, before the first full mood episode, then perhaps we can delay the onset to full mania," says Dr. Kiki Chang of Stanford University. "And if that's the case, perhaps finding the right medication early on can protect a brain so that these children never do progress to full bipolar disorder."

FRONTLINE's 2001 documentary Medicating Kids can be watched online at www.pbs.org/frontline/shows/medicating

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It's official. My husband will be heading home in a few weeks. And although I don't actually have a date and probably won't find out when he's coming until the plane takes off (I once had 4 hours notice - not cool!), I have confirmed through a reliable source that the wheels are in motion for his safe passage home.

So, what does that mean for me? Well, if you're not a military spouse you probably think I'm on cloud nine swooning about the house dreaming of seeing the love of my life. While that is a wonderful thought, it's definitely not reality. Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled that he is finally coming home but I am also stressed out about the upcoming reunion.

His impending return means that my "To Do" list just got enormously long. You see, military spouses work incredibly hard to create the illusion of having everything under control while their husbands are away. I'm not saying we don't have it all together but we do run things a little bit differently when our men are across the ocean.

If fact, I think I run a pretty tight ship when he's gone. The bills get paid, the kids are fed and the house is still standing when he returns. In my book that is success. Granted we eat a lot more Mac-n-cheese when he's gone and the kids spend more time sleeping in my bed then their own, but who says that's a bad thing? Plus, I have complete and utter control of the most prized possession in the house - the remote control. Although, this may sound like the good life it is certainly better with him home. So, in the next two weeks I will graciously prepare to hand over the remote and welcome him home.

First and foremost on the list is shaving my legs. While I might appreciate the break from razors, it certainly won't be appreciated by him. Then I need to clean up the many little "gifts" the dog left in the backyard and fill in the holes from digging paws. Oh, and let's not forget the garage. God help me if he comes home and finds "his" garage in disarray. Especially since he "organized" it before he left. And did I mention the car? I still need to get the oil changed and the carpets cleaned before he sees what Libby did in the back seat!
 
Plus, he has no idea that I bought a new headboard for the bed and a matching quilt (It's from Pottery Barn!). Somehow I forgot to mention that. It's probably better if I explain that purchase when he gets home. So I definitely need to make sure the sheets are clean....and of course the check book needs to be balanced, the house dust busted, the towels washed, the frig stocked with his favorite food and a good twelve pack of beer. Oh, I better check his laundry basket to see if he left any dirty clothes when he left. That would be bad if they were still there when he returned. And the list goes on....

At this point you're wondering why anyone would create this much anxiety about having everything "perfect" and if my husband is some kind of control freak. Shouldn't he just be happy to see me? Well, as far as my husband is concerned he has only two requirements when he gets home - to see us and a goodnight's sleep. A cold beer is considered an added bonus. As far as the rest of it, that's all me. It's my gift to my husband. I want to make sure when he walk's through the door after spending 48 hours traveling home from some God forsaken location that everything is in order. Not to prove that I can do it alone but to assure him that he doesn't have to worry about us when he's gone. It's sort of my insurance policy for his safe return. My theory is simple, if he doesn't have to stress about his family falling apart while he is gone then he can focus all of his attention on his job and come home in one piece.

And so far, it's worked. Which means if you see me in the next few weeks talking to myself, neurotically checking my "To Do" list or just looking a little more frazzled than usually, remember it's all part of my re-deployment ritual. Feel free to offer me an adult beverage, I'll probably need one!

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Apparently the most exciting thing to happen to Southern Pines during the holidays was the disappearance of the Broad Street Grinch and I missed it! Luckily, a loyal SandhillsKids member forwarded the clip of our very own Chef Warren being interviewed by WRAL! If you haven't seen the video of the Grinch-nappers, it's worth a peak. ENJOY!

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/offbeat/2007/12/25/owens.nc.grinch.stolen.wral?iref=videosearch

If you've ever been to the Festival of Trees before, then you know it's a Sandhills "Must See" event. Each year the decorations get bigger and better. And if you have kids, it's fabulous fun for the whole family. (By the way, Family Night is Friday from 4-8 and Santa will be there!)

Now, if you've never been then you need to go at least once while living in Moore County. For no other reason than to say you've experienced a great Sandhills' tradition.

But this year's Festival is "extra" special. It has been moved from to the Carolina Hotel in Pinehurst. The increase in space as well as the beautiful holiday decorations that grace the hotel are sure to make this the best event yet.

However, that's not the only reason to go.....This year the Sandhills Children's Center has expanded their Gingerbread Village and on behalf of SandhillsKids, I've donated a Gingerbread house.

Over the past month, I've spent what little free time I have (you know, between the hours of 9pm and midnight - HA!) and built my very first Gingerbread House from scratch. I'm sooooo excited about the whole experience that I've decided to give you a sneak peak. So whether you make it to the Festival of Trees or not, you'll get to have Visions of Gingerbread and maybe be inspired to make a house of your own!

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Keep you eyes open and be on your best behavior because Santa is popping up all over the Sandhills! And check back often, because we'll update our Santa Sightings list as we learn of new locations.

• Santa Claus coming to Imagination Station in December! The dates for the play sessions he will be attending are December 11 at 6pm and 7pm, December 16 at 3pm and 4pm, and December 18 at 6pm and 7pm. All sessions with Santa are $10 for the hour during which each child gets one on one time with Santa and parents can video and take pictures. Tickets go on sale November 14 and are limited.
• Stop by Colors 'n Clay and visit with Santa, Saturday, December 8 from 9 - 11 am. $10 per child which includes an ornament, cookies, milk and a visit with the jolly ole man! No reservations required, just show up! Don't forget to bring your camera.
• If you miss him in the morning of December 8, then catch Santa that afternoon in the Courtyard across the street from The Pilot at 2 pm.
• Santa will be bringing Christmas Cheer to the Festival of Trees on Friday, November 30 for Family Night and Sunday, December 2 from 1 - 4 pm. Bring your camera!
• Santa will be at the BB&T both Saturdays from 10 a.m. to noon and 2 to 4 p.m., as well as Thursday, Dec. 13, from 3 to 5 p.m. and Friday, from 5 to 7 p.m. when the village merchants will offer extended shopping hours.
• All children are welcome to visit with Santa at the Southern Pines Public Library on Saturday, Dec. 1, from 1 to 3 p.m. Parents can bring their own cameras to take candid photos of their children with Santa.
• Santa is coming for a visit to the Inn at the Bryant House in Downtown Aberdeen! See him on Friday, December 14, 2007  6pm-8pm, before he gets ready for the big day! Have your child's picture taken, enjoy treats and hot chocolate as he tells a great Christmas Story and reminds us of the true meaning of Christmas. $5 per family.

If we missed a "Santa Sighting", then let us know or post it below. This way we can all enjoy telling Santa our Christmas wishes!

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Well, it took about a year but SandhillsKids has finally made The Pilot! So, if your looking for a little lite reading check out the article. It was in Wednesday's paper on November 7th. We appreciate the coverage.

http://www.thepilot.com/stories/20071107/scene/arts/20071107KIDSONLINE.html

I've been carving pumpkins since I was a wee child on my father's knee. Back in the day, my father would grab his trusty black marker and butcher's knife to create his masterpiece. It was a childhood memory that has become a family tradition for me.

So each year (even those before kids), I have faithful handpicked the perfect pumpkin for carving. This year was no exception. Even without my husband home, I was not about to let Halloween pass us by. The girls and I picked out four pumpkins at a local farm and set out to carve them on Sunday.

This is a task that I have done every year for as long as I can remember so why would this year be any different? Well, for starters, the girls where more interested in the final product then the work to get there. So after cleaning out the pumpkins and making a mess of guts and seeds all over the garage, they bailed on me to go ride their scooters.

My sister and I were left with four pumpkins to carve. We decided to start on the largest two which turned out be too thick for our store bought carving tools. After a little cursing (on my part) and elbow grease, we finished them without any kids in sight to marvel at our beautiful creations. At this point, I had know desire to carve two more pumpkins but because they were already cleaned out I had to do something with them.

So I did what any "good" mom would do - I took a lesson from Martha Stewart and pulled out the power tools. I grabbed my husband's brand new Firestorm Drill (he's not here so who's going to complain) and three bits of various sizes. For the next 20 minutes, I worked out all my anger issues on two pumpkins. When I was done, I had two "holy" pumpkins that would have made the Queen of Domestication proud.

Tonight, our pumpkins - all four of them. graced the front porch with all of our other Halloween paraphernalia (talking head, skeleton, eyeballs, tons of lights, etc.) and the two pimpkins with holes were the talk of the neighborhood. Who knew that power tools and Halloween where the perfect match. Thanks Martha, I owe you one! 

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