Blog entries for Laura Douglass

The Carthode Hearth

Laura Douglass

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While I've been known to play the occasional sport, being forced to sit still and watch televised play requires serious bribery or at the very least, heavy sedation. Tailgating, I'm there; Super Bowl parties, count me in; actually watching a game, ain't gonna do it. No big surprise that I stick to chick fare and spend my evenings bonding with the Duggar, Gosselin, and Roloff families. Yeah, you ladies know who I'm talking about...but let me help out the men: that means I wa [...]

Life without hype?

Laura Douglass

is the world's favorite airline?

What if I can't get no satisfaction because I don't deserve a break today or can't have it my way at Burger King? What if my soup isn't Mmm Mmm good? And if I don't know how to cook, can I still trust Crisco?

I don't know about you, but the overplayed rock anthems and the crush of promotional overkill makes me a bit nostalgic for those illiterate Dark Ages. You know when homeless minstrels entertained with poetry and histo [...]

Blow ye fair winds

Laura Douglass

: hence, why you, dear reader, will find me living happily here in the drought-ridden and abundantly warm Sandhills. What's not to like?

For the sake of my kids, I admit I pretend to enjoy water sports. You know, throw on a swimsuit, grab some shades, and try to look casual on the boat. It's a sham. I'm actually white-knuckling the seat, completely absorbed as I focus on the horizon, trying not to notice the bobbing...up and down, up and down. Ugh.

And don't even get [...]

Baby Picture Overload!

Laura Douglass

imself from flashbulbs with his baby blanket before diving into a waiting limo - or minivan as the case may be. Another hapless victim of modern conveyance and convenience.

Yes, I blame technology.

Once upon a long lost time, say about ten years ago, film was an expensive, precious, and finite resource. For most events, you had twenty-four shots or less to get your picture right: a bar set way too high to assure success. Trust me, with a shelf full of family albums featuring timeless [...]

Road Trippin' with Kids

Laura Douglass

me kicking each other for entertainment.

9:40 am: Hoping a sugar rush will alleviate my headache, I hand out bowls of dry breakfast cereal.

9:41 am: A sweetened honey puff is launched past my head.

9:41:0004 am: Threatening to return home, I suggest an alternative vacation plan of spending the week cleaning up bedrooms.

9:42 am: Peace prevails for ten sacred minutes.

9:52 am: One hour, mark.

9:54 am: "Are we there yet? How much longer?"

9:55 am [...]

School's Out!

Laura Douglass

lots of turns, twists, and Twinkies - I went from the surreal life to real life in my thirties, and now sit on the threshold of the big 4-0. Perhaps it's because Darling Hubby and I stretched that youthful glow out to ridiculous lengths, like a dwindling string of Silly Putty, that we now take such joy in reliving all the pleasures of childhood with our brood: especially the school countdown.

Not that those hardworking teachers weren't feeding that frenzy each day by X'ing off [...]

Just how much is a tooth worth, anyhow?

Laura Douglass

e lunchbox- carrying, Ugh - I'm going to make her a feminist if it kills me - daughter.

For a chick who spends three mornings a week beating the stuffing out of punching bags and passionately enjoys throwing back a well-crafted brew, I know that someone up there must have had a great sense of humor when they sent me down this little angel to raise.

We're like a cartoon team, Tough and Fluff.

With seventeen months more experience at life [...]

Biscuit, such a tranquil name

Laura Douglass

carpet - a real plus for the maid. Yes, that means Mom.

Now there were no big surprises as our new pup negotiated territory and her place in the pecking order against the stone-cold killer cat that also shares our domicile. A quick study, Biscuit is wary of those well-armed swipes of pure evil.

In true testament to her manic species, Milkshake can purr contentedly, bat her bedroom eyes, and draw blood - all at the same time. Worse, like a spider, she'll draw in unsuspecting vict [...]

Christmas innocence, tinsel & lingerie

Laura Douglass

icked side and I couldn't resist asking if she thought we should send out a similar card.

"Oh no, Mommy, you can't do that! She's showing her belly button," protested my wise little angel.

Ah, the blessing of celebrating another December in the company of such innocence. There is simply no substitute for kids when sharing the joys of tree-trimming, present wrapping, or better yet unwrapping, and all the other little pieces and parts that makes each Christmas sea [...]

Perils of getting away for a week

Laura Douglass

;s not like we're fleeing a hurricane and have to pack up our most precious belongings for a trip of indeterminate length. I mean really, I'm leaving the comfort of home for the comfort of a Disney hotel room: not exactly roughing it!

Though I guess in everything, one can always look back on this trip or that one when a little better planning could've saved the day.

Darling hubby and I had our own Donner Party-vacation moment during our honeymoon. While planning this roma [...]

Balloons, Candles & Slot Cars!

Laura Douglass

says birthday like a massive fire engine terrifying the neighbors and crushing your landscaped driveway plantings.

As my children have reached each successive milestone, I have attempted to provide equally amazing thrills and chills. We've rescued stuffed animals from peril in the yard, blown up mountainous bouquets of pink balloons, and laid acres of train track throughout the house.

In my defense, I do eschew the glitzy store-bought cakes in favor of much simpler Mommy-made far [...]

Feeling the powerful pull of the pigskin

Laura Douglass

y of their games. But I did read all about it.

Here in the Douglass encampment I have been following any and all news of Brian Leonard: the youthful running back for the St. Louis Rams. Leonard hails from the same thriving upstate New York metropolis, Gouverneur, population 7,000 [not including cows], that my darling hubby calls home.

Along with the denizens of this tiny slice of American dairy land, we have cheered Leonard's every success: in high school, college, and now the NF [...]

Cooking with gas - Glad it's a guy thing

Laura Douglass

tives saturate stacked charcoal briquettes with enough lighter fluid to send flames shooting skyward like fireworks, blackening the leafy canopy of less fortunately positioned trees. Or maybe it's because despite the many safety features installed on our own silver monster, my dear husband still managed to singe our son's eyebrows off one day as our erstwhile tot stood to close while Daddy used the self-ignite button.

No doubt about it, grilling falls within the masculine sphere of [...]

Silly putty punctures parental pretensions

Laura Douglass

g this vibrant, writhing sea of people and vehicles, each city scene was overwhelming in its chaos. At times, it reminded me of the streets of my former domicile, Washington, D.C. on a Fourth of July holiday. Dupont Circle in particular was always a steaming cauldron of taxis, pedestrians, road rage, and poor municipal planning.

Of course, Karachi notwithstanding, this is a serious film dealing with tragic circumstances involving the lives of two outstanding journalists.

Daniel Pea [...]

A birthday with no rain!

Laura Douglass

inst nurture.

As for Mother Nature's lack of appreciation for my big day, I am utterly disappointed.

As a child, I hated the guarantee that a late July afternoon squall would sabotage my annual soiree.

When we moved to the Middle East, my parents tried to sell me on the idea by promising a desert-dry cake and candles day. Yes, you know what I'm going to say - it still rained. And no, watching our Iranian neighbors celebrate this unexpected life-giving blessing did not [...]

The beginning of a new year

Laura Douglass

that sprout up in the stores. Like seeds in a freshly planted field, the rows of lined paper pads, pens, and highlighter markers speak of patience: waiting to yield their harvest in creativity, not fruit.

Not one to be swayed by seasonal marketing, I cringe aghast at the premature display of Valentine's candy the first week in January and the springtime sandals and swimsuits in chilly December. Surely the worst offense is found each Autumn, when the fake firs of Christmas share aisle s [...]