Behind the Bravery of Every Soldier is the Courage of a Military Family 

It’s been seven years since I traded in my BDUs and became an Army Wife. Before that my husband and I were a dual-military family, both serving in the Army. It was not an easy decision for me to leave my Army days behind, but in the end my desire to have a family was stronger than my desire for a military career. Both my husband and I were raised in military families; we were well aware of the many sacrifices our young family would make if we both stayed on active duty. So when it came time for me to hang up my uniform for good, I thought I would be taking on an easier role as the wife instead of the soldier. I was greatly mistaken.

As an Army Wife, the military dominates my life just as much as it did when I served. Only the roles are different. My job is no longer focused on the battlefield but on the home front—instead of planning military operations or leading troops, I now sit on the sidelines.  To some, that might make my contribution less important than my husband’s. With that I would have to disagree.

I consider my husband a courageous man and do not discount in anyway the sacrifice he is willing to make each time he enters a war zone. Knowing that my husband could be killed in battle is something that haunts me each day he is down range. It’s the reason I have to be strong as an Army Wife because the death of my husband will leave me alone to raise our children. Just the thought of him returning in a flag draped coffin can bring me to my knees. And I know that so far, we’ve just been lucky. 

To survive the life my husband and I have chosen I have to be as courageous as him. Just as he prepares himself for death in battle, I prepare myself for that loss. I know that there may come a point in my life when I will have to live our dreams without him. It will become my job to be both mother and father to our children, to keep his spirit alive and never forget his sacrifice. That is my cross to bear as an Army Wife.

Over the years, I’ve had many friends ask me how I keep it all together. That answer is simple – I stay strong because I have to. I am the thread that holds my family together and if I unravel so do they. It’s simply a matter of necessity, not choice. My strength as an Army Wife is what allows my husband to go to war and know that his family will be fine. It’s why my children believe he will come home, because it is what I believe.

This doesn’t mean I don’t have moments of weakness. I have shed many tears in the privacy of my bathroom or on the shoulder of another Army Wife. I have cried myself to sleep at night so my children don’t see my pain. I have thanked God that the latest soldier killed on the battlefield was not my husband even as I have grieved for that other family's pain in the face of the ultimate loss.

I know that my life is far easier than the wives and mothers that came before me. Unlike women in previous wars, I do not have to wait for months to receive a letter in the mail or a phone call from my soldier. My husband won’t spend years living in a foxhole before I see him again. I am fortunate to be able to exchange photos and letters via email or talk to him on my cell phone while I’m grocery shopping. I am grateful that my road is easier and considered myself blessed to have such luxuries.

At the end of the day, I treasure the life I have and the blessings that come with being a part of a military family. I am honored to be a married to a veteran. I believe in my husband and the leadership in which he serves. That is the role I have been given because my husband is a soldier—and I am an Army Wife.