A Christmas So Bright You Gotta Wear Shades  

If you live in my neighborhood, you know not to put your house on the market in December. It’s not because the real estate market is slow this time of year—it’s just my house will be something of a distraction. You see, my family’s sense of holiday style falls in line with the Griswolds. Each year after the last of the turkey's put away, our house turns into a Vegas dream of bright twinkle lights and plastic holiday decorations that rival even the best decorated trailer parks.

It wasn’t always my goal to have the house on the street that made parents flinch and children squeal with glee. When my husband and I were first married, I dreamed about having a house right out of the pages of Better Homes & Gardens. Eleven months out of the year the outside of our home comes close to that goal, with a bright green manicured lawn and flowers on the porch. Other than the occasional kids toy scattered about, our house pretty much resembles every other one in the neighborhood.

December is a different story. After the arrival of our children, Christmastime transported my husband and I back to our own childhood full of multicolored light bulbs, aluminum trees and plastic Santas. I still have visions of my father nailing blue lights to the house while cursing under his breath as we stood at the bottom of the ladder cheering him on. I still remember standing in impatient anticipation for the magical moment when he would plug in that last extension cord, blasting hundreds of watts of holiday cheer into the night sky. We would spend hours happily crammed in the family station wagon, driving around town looking for the “best” holiday lights. When it came time for my eldest daughter's first Christmas, it was those memories that inspired my husband and I to hold on to these traditions for our family. So now, Christmas is all about welcoming a large electric bill and abandoning good taste.

Since that first purchase of 20 boxes of icicle lights, we have added to our collection each year. Today, we're the proud owners of a plastic Santa, an Elf from Santa’s workshop and a pair of 4ft plastic candlesticks. This year’s addition includes a few plastic camels and a palm tree to commemorate my husband’s frequent trips to the desert. But the piece de resistance of our collection is a full size, 4ft tall replica of the leg lamp from the movie “A Christmas Story”. Our “Major Award” complete with fringed lampshade and fishnet pantyhose has already been placed in the front window for all the neighbors to enjoy.

I realize that as some of you read this, you are cringing and praying that we never leave our house and move into your neighborhood. For now, consider yourself safe. We love our home. We consider ourselves fortunate to have neighbors that are good spirited about our tradition and actually look forward to our holiday lights. So far, our lights have become the highlight of our holiday decorating and the source of wonderful memories for our children.

This year consider loading the kids in the car and searching for the best lights in Moore County. If you find them, drop me a note at This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it so I can take my family. And just in case you find yourself in my neck of the woods, we’ll keep the light on for you.

Tips for turning your home into an electric Christmas fantasy

Lighting up your house for the holiday doesn’t require a lot of skill but here are a few tips to help make things go a little smother and keep things organized.

• If you need a little holiday inspiration, visit uglychristmaslights.com. Even though the site is about showcasing “ugly” holiday lights, I loved them!

• Christmas lights generally have a life span of 90 days which means if your lights are more than three seasons old consider replacing them. The best time of year to do this, is the day after Christmas when ever twinkle light hits the clearance table.

• Make sure you use a heavy duty outdoor extension cord and plug into a ground fault circuit interrupter electrical outlet. By doing this, you’ll protect your house from a potential fire caused by a power surge or spark.

• Invest in an automatic timer that will turn your lights on at dusk and off later in the evening.  This way, you can go to sleep at night knowing that your lights won’t be causing a surge in your electric bill.

• Use store bought plastic clips to hang lights from gutters and eaves. They make hanging a snap and can be used year after year.

• Consider taping your connections together with electrical tape. This will keep moisture out and help prevent short-circuits. It will also keep the little hands safe when the kids are playing in the yard.

• Plastic storage bags are a great way to keep lights organized. Use clear bags to store individual strands of lights, extra bulbs and light clips. It makes things easy to find the following year.